One morning, I heard a knock at my door, which I opened, only to find one of the evil Furies, who occasionally changes my sheets and gives me a lion's share of dirty looks. I welcomed her in, assuming she was there concerning my dysfunctional washing machine, which is so HUGE that it can wash two towels at once! But I was mistaken, as usual. Right behind her was a repairman who proceeded to my hall closet and then shut himself inside it. He eventually came out of it. Out of the closet...hehe... Moving on! Apparently my closet was broken, or there is yet another strange Chinese game that I have yet to participate in.

• The Chinese may not have a problem with pronouncing their R's and L's, but those W's and V's are certainly an obstacle. This impediment lends itself to endless amusement when speaking of "visiting" and "Volvo's."


• Have I mentioned how much I like Junior Senior (the music group)? Does that make me a flamboyant, gay man... Well of course not, I can hardly put together a fashionable outfit!

I was enjoying lunch with a couple of my Chinese friends when one of them offered to let me try her Thai Coffee. It was delicious, so I decided to be a total copier and buy my own. Perhaps I should have paid a little more attention with the "barista" was mixing my drink, because several pieces of "boba," that crap they put in bubble tea, ended up in my beverage. For those of you who haven't had boba before, they are spherical globules that I can only assume are made out of some gelatinous substance (please refer to Wikipedia for further details). I liken them to taking a sip of delicious, creamy coffee, only to find out that a homeless person has somehow simultaneously managed to spit a large chunk of phlegm into your mouth.

• In case you were wondering how well I am adjusting: I'm practically Chinese...except for the whole "I-don't-speak-Chinese" thing...


• I either need dye my hair black or learn how to say "What are you staring at?" in Chinese.


• I saw a yellow person walking on the street the other day. Literally. I am 95% sure she had Jaundice.

A few days ago, whilst strolling through the small, super dirty, market by my school, a small Chinese girl looked at me in astonishment. She then turned to her mother and exclaimed, "Mama, Yingouren!" This translates to, "Mom, there's an English person!" If only she had noticed my exquisite dental hygiene she would have surely known I was anything but English (Just kidding!).

• Shaving your legs is infinitely more enjoyable when using near-icy shower water!

On another note, I am still waiting for care packages...and also more comments on my blog, they really brighten my smog-lighty days! And just to brighten your day, I am going to throw in a fancy picture of my shower and the view from one of the many windows in my palatial estate!

Yes, I opted for the Two Shower Head model, don't ask.