That's a great question! To be honest, life in China has been great lately, but rather boring. Thus, it takes me much longer to gather brilliant anecdotes than usual.
Here are some of the pretty much awesome things that are unique to my experience in China:
-The local KFC serves a Curry Potato Salad and a delicate Mushroom Soup in addition to Popcorn Chicken.
-I can get my favorite jeans expertly patched, during my lunch break, for forty cents.
-I get to live in a place with a bit more history than the cookie-cutter setting of Overland Park, Kansas.
-The local Pizza Hut is a sit-down restaurant, with a full menu, serving Waxberry Smoothies, Zesty Western Waffle Fries, and...Escargot.
-I can buy movies, that haven't even hit all the theaters in the US, for under a dollar.
-Chinese TV...
Okay, Chinese TV doesn't really do it for me. I only have one channel in English and it talks about China 95% of the time. To be fair, I am in China, so this makes perfect sense. But I still wanted to let you know a couple of my favorite quotes that I have overheard from CCTV9 (China's International station broadcast in China and throughout the globe!)... My absolute favorite, caught whilst I was watching a news piece on China's environment, "Some people think that China may have an air pollution problem." I don't even need to follow that with a quip. My close second, is from a Chinese documentary about the Olympic High-hurdler, Liu Xiang. The narrator had just described a preliminary event at which Liu had almost been snubbed out of third place, and into last place. Liu had been erroneously mixed up with another competitor, who was to be demoted to last place for stumbling at the beginning of the race. Long story short, Liu was nearly unable to clear this mess up, most likely because he was an unknown competitor and the event did not feel it was necessary to have a Chinese interpreter present, seeing as the first-time competitor was most likely thought to be unimportant and a non-threat to the other more famous competitors...But onto the quote! "This historic mix-up showed how little regard the rest of the world has for China's high-hurdlers." Maybe I am just being a total ignoramus, but I laughed for a good five minutes while trying to think of any country that immediately brings thoughts of high-hurdlers into my head. To be honest, when I think "China"...it is usually followed by an association with something like "Dumplings ," "Air pollution," "Super-Flexible Acrobats," or "Chairman Mao."
Classes are still going great. I am really settling into the whole "teaching" thing. Especially drawing up my own "lesson plans"...which usually happens when I am in the shower in Monday morning. Hey-I get paid the same whether I plan way ahead or just an hour before class. The best question in class last week was, "What is the name of the US Secretary?" To which I responded, "Which secretary? The Treasury?" It took a minute before my courageous student uttered "...The US Secretary...Lice." I swiftly jotted down "Condoleezza Rice" and returned to reading my fabulous book of short stories, Strange Pilgrims, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Okay, I lied. It took me a good 20 seconds to recall the name of the Secretary of State. Actually, I had no idea what her actual job in the government was and I totally lucked out because my student supplied me with "-ice"... and I may have spelled her name "Condoleeza." Who is one informed American? This guy.
My favorite question at last week's English Corner was, "What do you think of Michael Jackson's face?" Despite the barriers of language and culture, my inquisitive students were able to understand and appreciate my reply; "It's not really much of a face anymore, is it?"
One of my least favorite questions that I seem to face at English Corner, and all over China, is "Why don't you learn Chinese?" Here is how I handled one such conversation, by embarking on a dialectical journey of self-discovery that allowed me to unearth the true reason why I have not yet attempted to conquer "Zhongwen" :
Inquisitor: Why don't you learn Chinese?
Hilary: Chinese is very difficult.
I: I think English is very difficult, but I am still learning it.
H: Are you an English major?
I: Yes.
H: I was a Psychology major, not a Chinese Major.
I: But don't you still want to learn Chinese?
H: I'll be honest with you. I'm lazy.
In addition to discussing all the fascinating goings-on and thoughtfully executed inner-workings of the US government with my classes (which never happens unless I am backed into a corner by overly-curious students) I have also begun a "Hot Topic Discussion" segment with all of my classes. The first topic, which I chose, was cohabitation. This was probably a bad choice on my part, considering it is illegal for unmarried couples to reside together in China. But I had to rule out capital punishment and family planning/abortion, for obvious reasons, and I was in desperate need of a topic that my students could see both sides of. This of course led to one of my more enthusiastic students answering my rhetorical question of "What do you think of cohabitation?" with a loud shout of "I like it!" I have since decided to let my kids pick their own topics, of which some are great discussion-inspiring subjects (Nature vs. Nurture), and some not so much...(Is breakfast important?)
"Beijing was really cold two weekends ago." Now, how many of you can say that? Muahahaha! I am a bit of a travel snob... I know that was rude of me, but please placate yourselves with the idea that I will not have Papa John's for an entire year and have long forgotten what the delicate wonder of Charmin feels like.
They finally turned on the heat in my building! This miracle has led to these amazing conclusions:
1. Thanks to the radiator, under the counter in my kitchen, I discovered that M&M's are all the more delicious when pre-heated.
2. Thanks to the radiator in my bathroom, I have my very own towel heater-upper...although I do have to worry about starting fires this way.
3. And ultimately, I am able to fulfill my pledge to never wear clothes in my apartment... unless I have company over. Ha!
3 comments:
You're REALLY in China? Wow - Come back to camp?
No Papa John's? There's totally Papa John's in China. You just need to go down to Shanghai. And then pay Western prices.
Just read all of your posts for the last two months on your mother's computer in your family's living room, and only had to push aside Sebastian once. I am passing the time until the turkey is finished by working with Zach on vocabulary. Had no idea a trip to Kansas City would include adding "caveat" and "anomolous" to my repertoire. On the way to the grocery store (open on Thanksgiving . . . try discussing the merits of blue laws to your class) we played a game where we each had to use the word "anomolous." I remember my reply being the funniest, but I cannot remember the sentence. You'll just have to trust me. Auntie El's sentence was, "Scooter waking up at 7am is anomolous,'' or something to that effect, and she thought she was so clever. Emily said something about the new Crate & Barrel being anomolous to the neighborhood, and I believe she was referring to the architecture, not to another capitalist pig retail store being built in Johnson County. Your dad said before we arrived at Hen House that if he spent less than $100. (that's U.S. currency) during a trip to the grocery store THAT would be anomolous. Remember, mine was funniest. Not that I'm competitive or anything.
Zazu just said hello, and Auntie El has not yet suceeded in teaching Zazu the euphomism for gay male sex. But hey, we're here until Saturday. Hope springs eternal.
Okay, this space is reserved for "comments" and not "epistles" (see: New Testament). Speaking of Irish nuns, I was reminded of Sister Mabel's 3 favorite words: lovely, beautiful, brilliant. Like the Chinese students who only know pretty, beautiful, and the other word (menopause=memory loss), Mabel would use these three words to comment on anything from turkey and dressing to a Japanese Seder. Remeber, "lovely" is pronounced "loo-vly." Brilliant must be pronouced with a tongue roll of the 'r' sound.
Scooter (before being known as such): How did you like your charoses?
Mabel; Brilliant.
Last thought: You are the only other human I know who uses the word "whilst." Hmm. The other person is a friend of mine, Jane, who grew up in South Africa and now resides in the south of England. When I heard her use it, these thoughts ran through my mind;
1. Pretentious.
2. British.
3. Extraordinary command of the King's English.
I will put aside #1 and #2, and just assume that a Drake degree means you had to read a lot.
Keep posting. Love it.
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