June 10, 2007

The Art of Chinese Conversation or Adventures With Tact

As some of you may have expected, the Chinese employ subtly different conventions when using English, which may catch a few native English speakers off guard. After having dinner with a Chinese couple, I've managed to gather a few examples...

Viola: Where is David?
Hilary: He's back in England.
Viola: So, he has left you all alone?
Hilary: Uh huh...

Mike: You know what? I've been a fan of the X-Files for many years.

Viola: My husband is a little fat and he is trying to lose weight, so every time someone says he looks a bit thinner, he is very excited. (Her husband is present when this is mentioned)

Viola: I think I will maybe find a handsome American boy while I am in America.
Mike:I will hire someone to check on my wife while she is in America. How do you say... an agent?

Viola: You look like you've put on some weight.

And I couldn't leave you without this tasty tidbit from one of my more soft-spoken students...

Hilary: What's your English name?
Student: Germ.
Hilary: Why'd you choose Germ as your English name?
Germ: Because I want to seep into the population's blood stream so that I can control them.
Hilary: Oh.

Finally, I offer yet another example of how my brain is rotting away:

After pondering a conversation in which a student said "I very much like music," I had to sit and think about whether or not 'much' was a word... My head hurts.

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