Grab Bag Anecdotes

(aka Could life BE any more exciting right now?!)

• For the past few months, I've been continually harassed by pamphleteers on my way to work. I'm not sure that 'pamphleteer' is a word, but I like it. Usually it's a leaflet detailing the amazing new discounts at the nearby Purgatory, which doubles as a Supermarket. However, one business has been quite tenacious in offering their glossy booklets to me, the new neighborhood gym. Yes, I'll admit, my washboard abs wouldn't really be able to wash...anything. But, seriously, I don't want to think about joining a gym at 7:50 in the morning when I'm late to class, or at 4:30 when I'm ready to pull my hair out from a day's worth of repeated grammar corrections. After months of my repeated "No, thank you," the new gym managed to find it's one staff member with adequate English to chase me down on their moped, and then walk along side me for an entire block, whilst still on their vehicle. However, every rain cloud has it's silverish lining. Although I've taken a long time to get to my point, without this determined solicitor, I'm certain that at no point in my life would the following phrase be addressed towards moi:

"Would you like to join our bodybuilding club?"

• Today on my way home from my first day of final exams, which I happen to be giving (not taking), I encountered an unusual sight. It wasn't the normal baby peeing in the middle of KFC or that fancily dressed woman hocking a loogie on the side of the street. It was a fire in a trashcan. Not just any trashcan at that, but a trashcan shaped like a panda, which is hugging a trashcan. Everyone knows how those silly pandas just love their rubbish bins! Back to my point, numerous people were walking by and paying no heed to the acrid smoke, until yours truly pointed it out to the management and the situation was remedied with a basin of toxic tap water. I think there's some deeper meaning to this pand-apathy...

• And lastly, I shall share the best Chinese joke I've yet to hear. I'd like to point out that I've heard this from multiple sources, so it must be somewhat popular.

Person 1: How do you get to work?

Person 2: I take the Number 11 Bus.

Person 1: Hahahaha!!!

• What? You don't understand it, you say? Well, please let me explain. The 'Number 11 Bus' is a clever way to say that you walk to work. The '11' is supposed to be your legs. Yes, it's a real gut-buster!!! Be sure to tell your coworkers around the water cooler....