All right, those of you who have spent more than a few hours with me, know that I happen to watch a fair amount of TV. This habit has carried over into China, even though most of the programming, 97.2% to be exact, is in Chinese. Due to the "barrier," most of my TV time is spent making cynical observations about the state of Chinese telemedia. Here's a few for your enjoyment:

• There is a Chinese version of American Idol, or a similar talent show, on TV almost 24 hours a day, on a variety of channels. I rarely watch these, unless the contestants are singing/dancing to English language music. A few days ago, whilst I was surfing instead of working, I heard a familiar ditty. "Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. Having caught my ear, I turned my gaze to the screen only to see a scantily clad, and rather skinny, Chinese girl attempting to dance. My final conclusion? Chinese girls can't shake it.
• Chinese TV does not have those fabulous "Girls Gone Wild" advertisements after 9 PM, which is okay with me. However, they do have a number of other sordid infomercials. My favorite is for penis enlargement. Of course, I am only assuming that's what it was for, seeing as I don't understand Chinese. But the show did have a large number of men with giant grins, women in bathrobes surrounding them, and something suspicious in brightly colored boxes. Obviously an enlargement commercial.
• Chinese women are very close to being obsessed with having white skin. Most skin products here, lotions and cleansers, contain ingredients to bleach skin. It's a good thing I brought my Cetaphil! Back to infomercials, many of them are for skin products. Most are magic whitening lotions, but my favorite is for the chromed silver full face mask that gets rid of any facial imperfection, while turning your skin a shade of supreme whiteness.
• The two phenomenon I most often come across while watching Chinese TV are women crying, and montages. The Chinese really like montages. Almost as much as they like bicycles.