So I finally resolve to sit down and get serious about this "blog" thing and of course I can't get Blogger to load. So I decide to type it on Microsoft and copy/paste. But no. Since my computer is running the Chinese version of Windows XP, Microsoft translates every letter into some Chinese character. Super.
So as I said, I shall attempt to get serious here. I'm shooting for the short, but witty, blog. And before I start, I must mention that I feel like a hypocrite and narcissist just for assuming that anyone might want to read about what I happen to be thinking/doing, etc. Now I shall attempt to relay some of my many witty observations and anecdotes:

• I really enjoyed my ride home this evening. Especially the part when my cab passed a bus crossing into the wrong lane, on a red light.
• Michael Jackson, circa pre-1990's, can brighten even the darkest day.

Driving regulations, such as solid yellow lines, are merely suggestions in Chinese.
Cabs honk in order to let you know they are about to hit you and will have no remorse if they actually do.

My teaching assistant, Jenny, took me out to a lovely lunch of dumplings and such. Fabulous restaurant with ice cold cokes. However, Jenny says I am not allowed to go to the restaurant by myself because I have to cross a very busy intersection and "Hilary does not pay enough attention." Of course, when Jenny said it, it came out more like, "I think maybe you only go here when you with other people."

Neon lights are quite common for nearly any business in the Shizz, not just the bars. I have realized this is because only neon waves will pierce the intense smog. This is the same smog that causes my finger to turn grey after insertion into my nose. Ew.

Prior to coming to China I was warned "not to look in the bottom of your soup bowl." I should have listened.

There are two phrases which seem to apply to numerous foods, and many locales, in China. "Something smells like shit," and "There seems to be something in the middle."

As far as I know, I have yet to eat any meat other than chicken and beef. But who knows...

In the Shizz, it is acceptable to crap and/or piss on the sidewalk. This goes mainly for small children... However, it is entirely unacceptable and bordering on insanity to put soy sauce on your rice. I found this out while dining with two of my students who gave me a rather incredulous look when I asked for the soy sauce. They then refused to hand it to me. This was followed by them physically moving the soy sauce out of my reach. It was only after I pleaded and begged and told them "This is how we do it in America" that I was allowed to try the soy sauce.